From the classified pages of the Times-Union in 1921, a pair of what seem (to our modern sensibilities, anyway) shockingly brusque headings for the paid listings for marriages and deaths: Altar and Tomb.
In journalism school, they used to tell us that most people would only be mentioned in the newspaper when they got married or died. I forget what lesson we were supposed to take from that.
Update: We were later reminded by internet friends that the T-U actually had a third category: Cradle. We just happened upon a cradle-free day.